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| I am always praying to see the Lord's hand CLEARLY in all situations. I want to be where He wants me, partaking of what He has for me, and living in situations that He has provided for me. Tonight, before church, I prayed and gave the Lord a specific situation in my life that I had been struggling with....an ongoing struggle, one that I've not quite been able to let go of completely, but really wanting to!
My prayer was specific: "Help me to handle rejection gracefully and in light of who You are."
....which in and of itself was unusual for me, as I have always prayed for the situation to work out as I wanted it to, never praying to handle the alternative properly.
I was told tonight that the situation I had been struggling with may change soon, and I will not be the one chosen to be a part of it. I was told by a friend in love and out of concern for my well being. I felt loved. I felt understood. I felt a burden lifted. No more wondering, no more wrestling with it in my head, no more worrying..........instead......relief?? Yes, that's what it was, relief....not the response I was expecting from myself, but it was there and it was dominant. It was an answer to prayer, not the answer that I had picked out, been hoping for, or even the one that was ideal in my mind. However, it was an answer.
The Lord knows the desires of my heart and for that I am grateful, but even beyond that He sees what's best for me, and if what I see and want doesn't line up with what He sees and wants for me....I'm o.k. with it, I'm with God, hands down, no thinking involved. Maybe someday I will be chosen to partake in a circumstance similar to the one I desired to be a part of here, maybe someday this struggle will be miles away and I will look back and smile seeing my Savior's fingerprints all over it, maybe someday.............
But until someday comes, this strong-willed child of God will be making it a priority to be content and patient, submitting to a God who knows best, who wants to give His children the best, and whose every act is motivated out of love.
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| I can't claim the below thoughts as my own. However, I still wanted to post and share, as it's sometimes the simplest, most subtle and gentle reminders that often hit me upside the head the hardest.....This was a much needed reminder for me.........thanks for letting me share:
" We accept and thank God for what is given, not allowing the not-given to spoil it."
--Elizabeth Elliot
"We focus so often on the "not-given" that we ignore the many blessings of God."
--Jerusha Clark
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all of his benefits.--Psalm 103:2
Don't forget a single blessing--The Message
I am blessed! Why is it so easy to focus on the "have nots"? It's like I'm standing there surrounded by options in which to place my focus, and I always seem to choose to focus on getting more, wanting more, looking for more...more, more! As I'm focussing in the wrong direction, I can see the blessings out of the corner of my eye and it's like I say, "yeah, yeah, I know I'm blessed and have what I need, Lord, but look over here at what I could have or what I want." My prayer is, that is as my tendency to shift back from the "have" focus to the "have-not" focus, the Lord would gently cup my head in his big hand and and guide it back to where it needs to be............
Count your blessings, name them one-by-one!
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| Dear Mr. Wake Forest Man,
I am writing in regards to the way you treated me today while I was serving you coffee. I realize that in your eyes I may be just another lowly customer service worker, working behind the coffee bar making barely above minimum wage. I also realize that in your world of highly educated, three degree totin' uppity-ups that my job is not held in high regard. However, somehow in your 40 something years of living on this earth and in your 6 plus years of education, you have missed some very vital skills that will take you far in life, degree totin' or otherwise.
Please allow me the opportunity of introducing you to the concept of treating people with respect. It's really not hard to do. I've made a simple list of three things that would make our next interaction with each other much more agreeable:
1) Greet others when greeted to. You are coming to me, you walked into the store because you wanted something, even if it was to look around, it's not hard to greet someone. I know a person with your educational stature can manage a one syllable word like "hi", in repsonse to my "hello, how are you?"
2) If someone is holding out their hand to receive your money, don't look at the hand and then toss the money on the counter, as if in disgust. Don't-do-it.
3) LASTLY, feel free to use and express appreciation. I'll list some of the more popular forms of showing appreciation, since I know you don't use them regularly on your own: "thank-you", "that looks good", "I appreciate it", and "have a good day" are all acceptable.
Now, with that said, I do owe you an apology. In my busyness I completely missed the memo that said I was suppose to roll out the red carpet when you entered my shop, and I also managed to miss the one that said when you come into the store, that you took priority over the customers already waiting in line, and for that I apologize, I'll try to read those more closely.
Oh, and that smile that was pasted on my face along with the occasional biting of the bottom lip, was because sarcastic remarks were shootin' off in my head like the grand finale of fireworks on the fourth of July, and they really wanted to make their way from my head to your ears. They didn't make it this time, but don't worry if the above three simple steps for showing your fellow mankind respect aren't applied the next time we interact, I probably won't work so hard to hold them in, they often get the best of me.
One more thing before I close, there is a Starbucks conveniently located just a block from us and they pretty much have the whole corporate thing down pat, you might get the treatment you are looking for over there.
Sincerely,
The
girl who really wanted to "accidently"
spill coffee on your shiny allegator skin dress shoes
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| It would seem that behind the screen of a computer that my insecurities would fade away. They don't. Which explain the large times gaps between posts. I have been on and reading other people's post however, and every once in a while I get brave and hit the "new post" button, or does it say something else?? I don't know what it says actually b/c I never use it! Anyway, I hit that button start typing away, only to realize that what's in my heart, running through my head, and what I'd really like advice on or just to share....is, quite frankly, more of a risk than I'm willing to take. Partly due to the above stated insecurities, partly b/c I'm afraid of who is reading this, partly b/c I'm afraid it will come across as selfish and be misunderstood, and partly b/c I over-thing-everything! Yes, everything! Does anyone else do that? How do you stop yourself from thinking? I mean you end up thinking about overthinking....
Anyway, the following is my life in a nutshell lately...along with a few blips of what's been going on in my head....
It's contract renewal time at school. And as every year around this time I battle with feeling stuck. Yes, stuck. Limited in where to go, what to do, do I take a risk, I'm looking for the writing in the sky--but not seeing it type of stuck. Every year, much prayer and rationalization is put into this decision, and so far every year I sign the contract and commit the next 10 months away. Please don't misunderstand me, I am blessed with what I have and where I am at. I'm not thinking any pasture is looking greener at this point....I want what God want for me, honestly! I just don't know what that is.
Family....I miss them. Allot.
My good friends from college just bought a house, their first!! They have been on my mind lately, I'm so excited for them...just wishin' I was closer to help out...you can see some pictures here if your interested: http://www.xanga.com/mtc92405 .
I've been really enjoying this sight lately too: http://www.relevantmagazine.com . Lots of good articles, the daily slices are always entertaining and usually make my day. I'm thinking seriously of just paying the measly $12/year and subscribing. Ecspecially since it's the middle of March and the local Christian book store still doesn't have the March/April issue in yet....*sigh* there are more important things in life I know =)....
The second job at the coffee shop is going well. Time to myself or with other friends is limited, but I'm slowly but surely climbing out of the debt hole.....I'm thankful the Lord has provided it for me.
I've been thinking a-lot about love lately. It would take to long to post it all here, however, I guess my thoughts have been leaning toward the ways God teaches us to love. Some people learn to love through having a husband or wife...they go through the ups and downs ins and outs and trial and error together and lessons are learned together. Others who maybe aren't married however learn lesson and learn to love through roommates, or friendships or even people who they struggle with. I wonder why God chooses the ways in which to teach us things.....I know He sees the whole picture and He knows best, but someday it would be neat to maybe get a reason. Wouldn't it be "easier" to learn to love through someone who CHOOSES to grow with you, rather than with someone who is FORCED to grow with you?? So why did I have to learn the lesson that way?? Just some questions that I might ask God if we were sitting across from each other at a table, chit-chattin'... I'm not questioning God, or even feeling "woe is me, I'm single and have to learn what love is through other people beside someone who wants to grow with me"...AND please don't misunderstand me in my conversation with God..... And yes, I know married couples learn lessons from other people besides each other, etc, etc....I'm just wondering......
I've committed to teaching a 2nd grade sunday school class. I love it. The class is made up of 15-20, depending on the day, rambunctious, rowdy and sometimes unruly 8 years olds, most of which are boys. I'm only two weeks in, and it's been a struggle, but I think we are coming to an understanding....and I feel like we are on the verge of some form of order. *chuckle* Did I mention that I love it? I'm in my element, I enjoy that age group and they make my week! I'd post pictures, but I'm lacking a digital and I don't have a scanner handy.....
Lastly, Saturday is St.Patrick's Day...what does that mean?? Well, nothing really, but I just wanted to send you on over to a sight I check out regularly, for some beautiful scenery and to peak in on how the real Irish celebrate this infamous day.....http://www.xanga.com/OwenHiggins/576931634/st-patricks-day.
WEll, I'll be back sooner or later....hopefully sooner, than later.
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